Brothers
by Flowering Lotus
Summary: When he awakes, everything becomes clear. He only wishes he had realized before it was to late.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters.  
**

Toshiro knew the minute he saw him. Ichimaru Gin, the man he constantly said he hated… was his older brother. As the stretcher passed by, his breath caught in his throat. He looked so calm, so helpless. And then the memories were flooding back. Sitting in the tree swing, Gin pushing him. Laughter and joy. When he started leaving. Lots of worry when he came home covered in blood. The days he would be so wounded he couldn't move and Toshiro'd take care of him, sitting by his side. Then the night he came home, drenched in blood, his face grim. Toshiro had asked what was wrong, and he had murmured a forbidden kido that wiped memories, his last words to Toshiro before he passed out. _**"Forgive me."**_

Toshiro sat by his bed for days on end. No one understood his sudden care for the snake. He didn't expect them to. He had set up a system by the first week. He would drink tea that Unohana made for him and eat the food that was given to him. Matsumoto would come by after that, her lips a thin line when she glanced at the male in the bed. Then she would give Toshiro the paperwork for the day and leave swiftly. He would sit by Gin, filling out paperwork, occasionally getting up and wetting the washcloth on his forehead. In the afternoon, at lunchtime, he would drink tea with Unohana silently, and then return to the paperwork. By the time he would finish the paperwork, it would be dinner time and Unohana would bring food and water. After eating, Isane would come and retrieve his dishes. Then he would crawl into bed with Gin, slipping under the covers like he used to. He would stroke his hair and think about all the memories that he had before going to sleep.

It had been a full month of this comatose state for Gin. Unohana said he was getting worse. It hurt to watch Gin wither away in the bed, pale and thin. It hurt _so much_ to watch him wither in the bed, but Toshiro stayed, following routine. Some days he wondered if it was worth it. He had deep bags and he resembled a raccoon because of how dark the rings under were under his eyes. Unohana constantly expressed her worry for him and told him that this-whatever 'this' may be-was unhealthy, but he disregarded her. He would speak in a low voice to Gin, telling him all he remembered, sometimes yelling at him for not telling him and not protecting himself. Toshiro would tell him not to give up, because he needed him. These were the worst times. After he told him these words in a whisper, he would crawl into the bed regardless of the paperwork being finished or not and would cry. He would hold onto Gin like a lifeline and cry. Because that was all he could do.

He started to dwell on the past. He remembered when he was little and depressed, Gin would tell him stories. He would pull Toshiro into his lap and rock him gently. He would then pull out the only story book they had and read it to him, telling stories about dragons and knights and princesses and princes, because he knew Toshiro would laugh through his tears. They would laugh together at how ridiculous the stories were for a while, and then Toshiro would lean into him and fall asleep as he hummed him his favorite song. Just before Toshiro would slip asleep, he would lean close to his ear and whisper: _**"I'll be your knight, so don't worry. I'll always protect you."**_

When he started to slip, Toshiro had a panic attack. It was like the ones he had when he was little, but stronger. He had crawled into Gins bed and sobbed his heart out to him. His worries of his death, of what he would do afterwards if it happened. It was becoming easier to believe every day. Toshiro didn't know how to save him though. He didn't know if he could. But he promised himself that day, curled into Gins side, that he would do anything to save him. He would protect him for once. Their sides were switched.

Toshiro refused to let Unohana pull the plug. She said it would be better to just let him go. She didn't understand. She would never understand. He still hadn't told anyone about their relationship, and he wouldn't tell Unohana just because she thought it was right. It had been five months since the end of the war. That night, he had crawled into bed with Gin-as usual- and whispered softly to him, telling him to wake up, because Toshiro needed to see his eyes, his smile. He told him he was a coward for not coming back. He told him that he needed to come back for Rangiku, for everyone else. Toshiro told that he needed to come back for him.

Gin still hadn't regained consciousness and the old man (A.K.A. Yamamoto) was losing patience with him and Gin alike. It had been a year since Gin had been put in his coma. Toshiro refused to believe, though, that he wouldn't see his eyes, his smile, hear his teasing voice, ever again. He opposed the old man in front of everyone when he dragged him to the meeting room to tell him to pull Gins plug. Toshiro flat up told him no, and even he was shocked speechless. While everyone was still speechless, he left, going straight back to Gin. He sat in the chair by his bed and forced himself to stay awake all night, guarding Gin.

He couldn't help but think of the time just before Gin slipped into his coma. He was standing, speaking with Matsumoto, completely fine. The next moment he had fallen forward, and the world had seemed to go in slow motion after that. Matsumoto called for the doctors urgently and Isane, who had nothing to do at the time, had come running over. She had called a stretcher and they had loaded Gin on it. Orihime had healed Toshiro, and then he went running after them. He had stayed the entire night sitting straight backed in one of the lobby chairs, waiting to learn if Gin was dead or not. When Unohana came out covered in his blood, Toshiro had freaked… internally. He had asked her if he was okay. She had given him a surprised and pitying look. And then she had explained his condition. She had said that he had lost a lot of blood and was going to heal fine. Before Toshiro fell asleep, he couldn't help but think: _**"Liar."**_

She said he needed a heart transplant if he was to survive. She said if she got the heart she would be able to save him. The donor would only live a few minutes after the operation with kido support before the brain would shut down. Toshiro's heart beat sped up at the thought of saving Gin, like he had done so many times for him. He offered and Unohana eyes had widened. She asked him if he was sure and instantly he replied yes. The very next day he had been tested for compatibility and prepped, and it was checked and doubled checked that it would work. Unohana gave him a sad smile before he slipped asleep because of the drugs he had been injected with. He woke up later, tired and confused. Unohana, with a soft smile, confirmed it had worked and Gin was going to be okay. Then she told Toshiro that he had already been without his heart for a few minutes, and his time was drawing near. She then said that Gin was awake and she could bring him. Toshiro agreed brightly-or as brightly as he could when he knew he was going to die in a small amount of time- and Unohana left quickly, coming back with Gin in tow. His eyes were open, but his smile was falling away when he saw Toshiro. He rushed to his side, asking if he was ok. Toshiro laughed weakly and kissed him on the cheek because the dark was eating at the edges of his vision, then he simply said: **_"I know."_** And then the darkness took over.


End file.
